Why the biggest barrier to confident leadership is usually the one we build ourselves.
Ask most people what is holding back their career and they will point outwards: the structure, the workload, the person who keeps talking over them. Far fewer point at the story running quietly in their own head, the one about not being ready, not being enough, or not being the kind of person who does that sort of job. Yet that story is often the thing doing the most damage.
That was the heart of Madeleine West's keynote at our Women in Public Sector Leadership Summit. An award-winning actor, best-selling author and child safety advocate, she has spent years campaigning for survivors of child sexual abuse and was among the advocates behind the Survivors Law, which passed federal Parliament this year and stops perpetrators hiding assets in superannuation to avoid paying compensation. Her talk was less about her career than about what she has learned pulling herself back to calm, clarity and confidence, over and over. Here is what stood out.
The story you tell yourself is rarely the truth
At 21, Madeleine was hit by a bus and badly injured. What devastated her was not the injuries but her face, because she had been conditioned to believe her appearance was the most valuable thing about her. Lying in hospital, she was convinced her career was over.
What she came to realise is that she had let what she imagined other people thought define her worth, without a shred of evidence that they thought it at all. As she put it, what she thought they thought was enough to stop her doing what she wanted to do. She is far from alone. KPMG's research found 75% of women executives have experienced imposter syndrome, and 81% believe they put more pressure on themselves than their male colleagues do. The story is common. That does not make it true.
Madeleine was blunt about the years she lost waiting for a better version of herself to arrive, one who would be perfect, happy and fearless. That woman never turned up, because she does not exist. Comparing yourself to lives that are largely constructed, she argued, is a losing game, and the energy spent primping and punishing yourself to feel worthy is energy taken from the work.
Her reframe is a good one for any leader: your perfect imperfection is what makes you you. The version of you that people trust and follow is the real one, not a polished approximation of someone else.
Negative self-talk is close to universal, but Madeleine's point is that being universal does not make it uncontrollable. Her method is refreshingly practical. She gives herself 60 seconds in bed to run through everything she got wrong and everyone who might not like her. Then she stops, gets up, and before she looks in the mirror makes a promise that whatever she sees, she is determined to like it.
Not that she will like it. That she is determined to. It is a small discipline, but the principle underneath it matters: you can notice the story, give it a boundary, and then choose a different one.
She walked the room through the exercises she uses, and the logic behind them is sound: when you are flooded with adrenaline, you cannot make good decisions, so you need something that physically shifts your state before a hard conversation, a big presentation or a moment of conflict. Every leader has a stress response, whether that is fight, flight or freeze. Knowing yours, and having a reliable way to settle it, is a genuine professional skill.
Madeleine had little patience for wellness as a hashtag, but was serious about the mechanics of clear thinking, particularly screens. The short version is that constant scrolling floods the brain with dopamine without the feedback loop that lets you settle, and blue light late at night disrupts the deep sleep your brain needs to restore its executive function. Her practical advice was no phones for two hours before bed, and if that is hard, put the device in a lockbox.
The leadership relevance is direct. Poor sleep and constant stimulation erode exactly the capacities good decisions depend on: focus, judgment and impulse control. Protecting them is not indulgent, it is the job. And, as she pointed out, doing it visibly
Madeleine's closing line was the one that stayed with the room: whatever glass ceiling is holding you back, it is yours for the breaking. Some barriers are structural and real, and naming them matters. But a surprising number are stories we have accepted without evidence and carried for years. Courage, in her telling, is not a personality trait you either have or you do not. It is the accumulation of small decisions to back yourself anyway, and it is the most persuasive quality a leader can have, because people follow those who believe in themselves.
With thanks to Madeleine West for her keynote at The Leadership Institute's Women in Public Sector Leadership Summit.
More information about the Summits
Women In Leadership Summit Aotearoa 2026
Women In Leadership Summit Sydney 2026